I have this restlessness inside me that won’t go away. No, it’s not because of my fever. Nothing to do with me coughing my lungs out.
I feel like throwing a party. A crazy one with food and friends and just letting our hair down.
I hate having to wait for an occasion to celebrate. Can’t we celebrate just being alive and being here and now and with each other?
Now, if only money grew on trees…
Everywhere, you see signs of change. From the smile on Nads’ face (yes, she doesn’t usually beam like so) to the scowls worn by certain political cronies. The air of hope is palpable. Some dreams might have been dashed, but for every one of those ten more give up thanks to whatever God they pray to.
BN lost its 2/3rds majority last night (this morning).
The people have spoken!
It’s technically Election Day but since it’s only 2am, I can be forgiven for saying eve.
I watched the final episode of Friends today. And ohmygod I am feeling so soppy.
I miss the hugs and feeling like you belong. I miss having someone who has to listen to your chatter and whom you don’t feel guilty about bugging because listening is part of their job description. I miss having the sweet little ones around, the ones whose cherubic smiles make my heart contract and my eyes mist over. I miss taking walks on the streets of London at 2am in the morning and watch and listen as the city decides whether it wants to sleep or wake up.
I miss roast beef and yorkshire pudding and hot chocolate from a machine. I miss walking uptown to Waitrose and always deciding on apple pie ala mode over chocolate pancakes at Victoria’s. I miss the tuna sandwich from Pret and the tuna melt panini from Sainsbury’s on Tottenham Court Road. I miss making pancakes on Shrove Tuesday and getting bread from Paul’s and having tea at Caffe Concerto.
I miss the debates I used to have with myself trying to not walk into H&M, only to succumb by the time I reached Oxford Circus. I miss looking out for the man holding up the “Golf Sale” sign. I miss taking the train to the last stop “Elephant and Castle”. I miss my Church Street Saturdays. I miss Bayswaters and Yo!Sushi that doesnt come with a 15 bucks price tag (yes, I know, kalau convert sama! Humour me!)
I miss. I miss. I miss.
Hugskisshugskisshugskisshugskiss
I read about all that you’ve been up to, and I smile. You were always talented, even from when I first knew you. Adorable, stole the hearts of those around you. A model for a DVD now. I’m glad people around you see what we see. That you are extraordinarily beautiful.
I watch the clips your parents so lovingly captured and put up. Knowing, of course, that you are beloved not only by those around you, but by those who have known you but are now miles away, unable to dance with you, sing with you, talk to you. We only have pictures, videoclips, news sent from miles away, to relieve the piercing pain of missing your wonderful self.
And watching you struggle with your rocking horse, I found myself laughing and crying. And wishing, oh so very much, that I could reach down and give you a hug. Oh how I miss you, my darling Leelwan.
Hannah sent an sms out tonight, telling us that she has just welcomed a little girl into the world this morning. *Sigh* And Widhya’s sister also informed me that she has just had a darling little boy (indeed very, very much a darling! I don’t usually like boys, but he’s adorable!) *Sigh*
Oh how time has passed.
I’m so happy for them, for all these blessings that they have in their lives. I’m so glad that life is good and kind to these blessed people who deserve all they get. But, heck, I miss them.
A very good friend living on his own came down with the flu yesterday. So today, after a quick run to the supermarket, I dug up a big pot, filled it with water and rice and some vegetables and meat, and proceeded to boil. Over the next 5 hours, as my face had a free steaming and I intermittently added water to the reducing broth, it conjured up an old memory of a different pot, a different kitchen, a different city, a different friend.
I miss this friend. That porridge I made for him then was the last thing I ever managed to do for him. And he was such a nice person, always doing things for others, that he deserved to have someone look out for him once in a while. I had his blog entry run over and over in my head as I packed the porridge, put it on a tray, placed it on the passenger’s seat and drove to drop it off. It made that old friend so happy back then. And yet, today, he barely even acknowledges me.
I just hope today’s porridge doesn’t play out the same way.
2 years ago, my BAJOS was born as a spin-off to Ahmad’s BAJOH. For those not in the know, BAJOS stands for Big A$$ Jar of Samah. And ten points to whoever can figure out why Samah.
I’ve decided to give the contents away to charity. Will blog about that separately. We counted out the money and it totalled RM677.
It was very sad, parting with something that had been a constant since I started working. But it’s all for a good cause, eh?
It’s a new year. With new years come…
… new calenders!
—
Yes, I know it’s lame. I have long been crowned the Queen of Corn(y) by my friends so live with it. Quick updates *as bugged by Ms Clover*
1. Mr HMAWN and I are cooling things off rather drastically. The aforementioned iPod is still in the silver box although it has been taken out and examined.
2. Am starting on new meds which have been known to cause depression in 40% of the respondents tested during clinical trials. Wish me luck!
3. I flunked my Tax and FR exams rather spectacularly. Results came out last night but I didn’t bother checking. Some things, you just KNOW.
4. I am hunting for a new gynae after my current one abused me physically and verbally.
5. Work is CRAZY!!! Thankfully, Boo is my boss and taking the brunt of it because she LOVES me!
6. Am starting on a new project for Iman – ala HOWGIH
7. A dear almost-famous friend wanted to set me up with hunkahunka man, which I respectfully declined. Nice women who are not afraid to take on hunkahunka types can apply below.
8. I found out that you can do credit checks on men you’re dating. Wow! I thought it only happened in movies.
9. I miss baking.
10. I think I’m going the direction of the 40%
Sorry for the long silence. Life was pretty overwhelming for a while, but I’ve come up for air.
So now its almost two weeks after my birthday. For posterity, why was this, the 27th year of my life, probably one of the best birthdays of my life? In no particular order
10 Things Why Turning 27 Never Felt This Good!
1. An SMS that came in as I was parking my car. From the man who taught me to love, taught me to cry, and taught me how heartbreak can kill. He has never wished me happy birthday through the 11 years. But at 8 am that morning – “Happy birthday min…”
2. My new fuschia pink Mary Jane Crocs that came 2 days before from MrHMAWN! In my size!
3. A phone call transferred through the operator but ended up at Boo’s extension. My extension was acting up (as usual!) and she called me over. I picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hi Min! Happy Birthday!”
“Errr.. Thanks. May I know who this is?”
“Takkan tak ingat dah kot? Mentang mentang lah dah lama tak call”
“You sound so familiar, but I’m sorry, I cant remember.”
“It’s Joe!”
*silence* “Errrr… Joe? Joe mana ni?”
“How many Joes do you know? *chuckle* Joe Dublin lah!”
FYI – Joe Dublin was the superduperhothubbahubba guy I had a teeny tiny hotstuff fling with years ago. It didn’t work out but we stayed friends until I came back to Malaysia and we lost touch.
*squeelling sounds* “How did you get my number??????!?!?!?!”
Apparently he remembered I worked for one of the Big4 firms and started calling one by one. He got to the right one eventually. Talk about sweet surprises on my birthday!
4. A HUGE bunch of my favourite flowers in my favourite colour (no, not black!) that appeared at the receptionist from my darling GirlyGirls. With a note that read “May all your dreams come true i.e. may you get laid soon!”. Ah, my darling girls, how well you know me.
5. Jibbitz from my darling colleagues at work to go with my gorgeous new Crocs. I received a flower (representing Liqs), a frog (representing me), a monkey (representing Boo obviously) and a bee (representing Lye Ching) Did I mention I love my customised Crocs??
6. Another bunch of flowers from my HR Manager with a darling teddy bear tucked in the centre. Also in my favourite, non-black colour
7. Lots of moolah from the parentals (Mom still owes me half!)
8. Dinner with The CF Rebels, Ah Wong (who wished me happy birthday in his very deep macho voice *melts*) and MrHMAWN at Tony Roma’s where I planned to eat and eat and eat but gave up after the starters
9. The new stuffed panda I got from the two Ates (pronounced Ah-Tehs) to replace the very battered pink terry pillow guling busuk I’ve had for years.
Last and definitely not least,
10. The silver box that came from MrHMAWN during dinner.
“But you’ve given me my birthday present already *flashes new Crocs*”
“But that wasn’t a birthday present. You just thought it was and I didn’t correct you. It wasn’t a birthday present. This is a birthday present.”
I picked up the silver box in the black paperbag and my heart sank.
“If this is what I think it is, it’s way too much. I can’t accept this.”
An hour later, Boo insisted on my opening the present before we headed home. So in front of the pillar opposite The Curve’s Body Shop, I lifted the top over the silver box and peeled back the tissue. And I was right.
I am completely spoilt and spoiled! I know I know.
—
The iPod is still sitting in the silver box at the foot of my bed. It’s biding time.
I think I’m going insane.
I found myself at a store recently. Where was it, let me think… It was yesterday and I was out and about. Might have been when I was topping up my Touch-n-Go at the local petrol station. I found myself staring at the cigarette display and thinking to myself – “maybe I should take up smoking…”
Thoughts tangle my words. I feel like I’m living someone else’s life.
And I don’t know how to stop.
